Not Another Father's Day Post
On Mother's Day, I wrote about a few different things.
Slightly more than half of everything we are is thanks to our moms. I and all of us who grew up with remotely stable households are forever indebted to our parents, who guided us through the most influential and malleable years of our lives.
And I wrote about the difference between mothers and fathers from mommies and daddies. Anyone can be a parent. That only takes one quick mistake. Being a mommy or a daddy is a lifetime of servitude, sacrifice, worry, and pride!
There's something special about a daddy's role, though. We have a fun story about a family friend, which I think contributes a much bigger, more important portrayal of daddy-hood than just a cheap laugh.
This family friend has been a doctor for my lifetime twice over, a strong community leader, and generally a very respectable and successful person.
His three children have all had just as much success, and have even married people with similar successes. These 50 y.o. children are not in need, but their dad made a comment to my dad about family getting together for dinner.
"It doesn't matter how old they get or what they end up doing, you always get stuck with the check."
I find that hilarious, because it's so true! Family goes out. Dad pays. It's the unwritten law of daddy-hood. That never goes away! Dads are dads for life. They take care of you. They provide for you. Dad's are the presumed bedrock of a child's life, and of their future.
It's funny - interesting - how sociology of family studies seem to always focus on the role of the dad in a child's development. A kid might even have a terrible mother, but if the father's missing or has serious problems of his own, that's what reportedly has the larger impact.
You hear the term "daddy issues" tossed around all the time, but you don't really hear "mommy issues" very often. Why is that? Maybe it's because moms are generally more of a constant in families, but I can't help but to interpret it that a dad's role in bringing up the next generation is paramount.
Who else shows you how to keep your emotions in check (or checks them for you)? Who helps you put in a basketball hoop at home? Who shows you how to drive, or how to throw a ball?
Who tells you what age you're supposed to act? Who else do you mimic, or look up to? Who else shows you how to be an adult, or helps you figure out what in the world you're doing with your life?
Who hides their emotions better than Mom so that you don't see them freaking out whenever they let you "do your own thing," even though they're worried poopless?
When someone's "troubled" or lives a self-defeating life, people say it's because there was no strong father-figure. When someone does really well, there's nearly always a kickback to the parents.
Daddy-hood is for life. It's love and sacrifice and picking up the check forever. It's one of the few things I continually realize is more and more important. It's an impact that continues to reveal itself in bigger and bigger ways as I get older.