I'm In Such a Weird, Creative Place
I'm in a very weird place. I guess it's a good thing, because being here means I'm growing. I think it does, at least. It's difficult to say. It's strange.
I feel sort of like a nomad, wandering from place to place, not really sure where I belong, or even if I want to belong anywhere.
I've reached a point in my writing. Was it intentional? In a roundabout way, yes. My writing doesn't really belong anywhere. It lives and grows on my personal blog, of course. But the difference is this.
Until the last few months, when I'd write, it would be a piece written specifically to pitch to a certain publisher based on their audience and criteria.
I've changed, though. I'm not in it for the cheap pitch. I'm in it for growth. I'm in it to become a reputable, respectable source. The thing is, I'm not yet nearly good enough to get into one of these reputable, respectable publications - not without putting in four times the effort, at least. This leaves me in a very weird place.
For lack of a better phrase, I've outgrown some of the places I'd been contributing to.
I feel that tailoring content to meet their demands would sacrifice what little quality I've gained by writing every day these last few months. I don't belong there. But I don't belong in the places I want to be yet either. I'm in limbo.
Limbo's a scary place to be as a creative! It's also incredibly frustrating.
The more you do something, the better you get at interpreting the subject matter.
I'm sure I'll look back on this moment in six months and laugh, but I feel that I've gotten rather good at distinguishing between levels of quality in writing. I know I'm better than some, but have so much farther to go.
That's the thing.
It's so frustrating to see far left you have to go! Sure, I'll get over this quickly, but some of you understand exactly where all of this is coming from. I don't have a foothold, and I'm looking desperately to find one.
The simple solution is to pick a publisher I really want to write for (who also accepts pitches and submissions), and go out of my way to create content specifically for them.
Then go out of my way further to edit, re-edit, and craft the most masterful piece of content I can, specifically for them. That would be a really good plan, too, if it wasn't for the time commitment.
I say "go out of my way" because as much as I would love to be featured in one of these more reputable places, the amount of work to get there almost isn't even worth it right now.
Yes, in the grand scheme of things, of course it is. But my first creative commitment is to writing and posting here every day. I spend roughly two hours on every post (or more, if it's difficult to find a featured image).
For another publisher, I would have to put in eight or ten hours for one piece. Doing the work would be valuable, but that's four or five days worth of blog posts, which is a significant chunk of time to pull out of thin air!
Ultimately, that's what I'm going to have to do. I'm going to have to put in that extra time and effort to pitch someone more reputable. And I'm going to have to do that over and over and over again before I get anywhere with it.
That's the trouble with being in limbo. You have to be patient while you fight to find footing. The bright side is that it's an accomplishment for me to have made it this far, and I can't expect to be here forever!